Dear Abby: My husband let himself go – I fantasize about younger men

Dear ABBY: My husband is brilliant, classy, ​​loyal, a wonderful father and handsome at 46 without a wrinkle.

He has been in financial trouble for about a decade and has let himself go. I respect him, but when I try to help him look better, he says, “I don’t care. Go ahead and leave me,” which I think is very immature.

I’m getting angry because I’ve been with him for so long and contributed 50% to our finances and 100% to his dreams while he moved us around the US.

I’m 42 and I’m starting to find younger men attractive. While I would never cheat, I can’t help but miss the man I fantasize about in my dreams.

It’s sad that he doesn’t care. People think he is my father when they meet him. Please help. – THE REAL ONE IS MISSING

DEAR MISSING: Has it occurred to you that when a brilliant, classy, ​​loyal, handsome 46-year-old man who has been “in a mess” for the past 10 years lets his looks go, he might be depressed?

Instead of a physical change, he may need a mental change. Tell him that you love him, that you are concerned about his physical and mental health, and try to convince him to tell his doctor how he feels.

If you do, it may be the answer to your problem.

Dear ABBY: My sister died of cancer seven years ago. Her daughter and I have always been close – doing things together, going on trips, etc.

Four years ago, she started dating a guy who thinks he’s better than everyone else. I have met him, but I have yet to meet the rest of his family. She always comes up with some excuse.

Last weekend she told me they were going somewhere special so he could propose, and he wanted to borrow a ring he had already given her (which I thought was weird).

Then I saw on Facebook that his whole family was there for that special moment, but I wasn’t invited.

I’m heartbroken. If he planned it and didn’t ask me, that’s stupid. But my niece knowing about it and kicking me out is another story.

I am hurt and angry. I don’t know what to say to her at this point. I feel she is ashamed or embarrassed of me because I don’t drive a nice car. – REVIEWED AUNT IN VIRGINIA

Dear Aunt: You state that your niece’s boyfriend thinks he’s “better than everyone” and you suspect that you’ve been excluded from the engagement because you’re not as wealthy as the family he comes from.

But if he couldn’t afford to buy your niece an engagement ring and needed to borrow a ring he already gave her, you may be overestimating his net worth.

I can’t blame you for feeling the way you do, and please understand that you have every right to express those feelings to the thoughtless niece you’re dating.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.